Don't trust the B in 203.

March 06, 2017

One of the most adult things I've done to date is to live alone. I don't consider myself adult in a lot of ways. I play video games and get mad at them like a 13 year old boy. I hardly ever cook cause I spend 45+ hours a week at a food establishment. Like a toddler, I'd rather no pants than any pants. And Nutella is one of my five good groups. 

On the other hand I am a bright, beaming young adult on the premise of adulting in its glory. I pay for my own health insurance. This past year, I flew on a plane by myself. I have student loans and a salary. I pinterest hair styles fit for work and IKEA hacks. And like I mentioned before, this past year I moved into an apartment all by myself. To set the ground work for you: my first apartment was with two boys, the second was with 4 other roommates, the third was a house with two and then three roommates. So for the most part, I've had plenty of roommates. Roommates themselves could be a whole other post but that's not what today is. 

Living alone is a big deal for me. I didn't have my own room, let alone own bed until my older brother went to college. I'm not ashamed of where I came from, it's important to my story. So anyway, this year. I made the decision to live alone. It was the first time in five years that I wouldn't be living with my best friend Manolo. Even our freshmen year in the dorm, his dorm was across the street but he spent many a nights in my dorm like young heathens do. Growing up teaches you a lot about relationships and I think this moment was most important because it shows you that you don't love or care for someone less just because you want to try things apart from each other. Letting me grow into this experience and the same for him but still seeing each other just as much as we did when he was down the hallway is what is special about this. You can only grow up if you evolve. And not everything has to be a big deal. I think growing up has a lot to do with knowing what is a big deal and what isn't. 
Manolo dealing with me on 6th street on my birthday like the grand friend he is.
So what have I learned in this time at this apartment? There's a freedom in having someone over talking and laughing at 2am and not having to worry about waking up your roommates. Learning how to decorate as an adult teaches you about what you really like. You don't have to worry about if your roommates will hate that nonsensical gold decoration you bought. You get to be as basic as you want, bitch. Buying groceries for yourself and only yourself really makes you question what you're doing with yourself. Learning about what kind of hobbies, music, and movies when no one is watching make you happy shows you what you're really about and why haven't you pursued that more before? For awhile, I was most scared that one night I was going to wake up and have this existential crisis over the fact that I was lonely, rather than alone. So far, that's never happened. Sometimes when it's just a little quiet in my apartment for comfort, or when I'm in a funk of missing the everyday interaction just casually talking to someone in the living room, I say to myself, "Rubi, you need to chill. Getting to be in this situation is a privilege so get over it girl." Sometimes, inner me is a bitch. 

But really. How do I explain in a non-cliche way that independence is something I really like to strive for and that living alone has helped that. I haven't had to bring in all the groceries by myself until now! It's about the little things, people. Privacy is a such a huge blessing you don't realize until it's not there. Living alone also teaches you about your relationships with other non-roommate people. How many people still try to hang out and hit you up now that you're not throwing ragers at your house? Yeah,.. I take notes. And don't get my wrong, I still keep Manolo on speed dial for when I get a flat tire (cough, yesterday) or when my internet isn't working or when I need a shelf mounted. Wow, I sound like a horrible feminist. My point is at the end of the day, while I know I have help if I need it, I still know that I can depend on myself first and foremost. I don't think that I would have learned that another way. I don't think I would have realized I am as capable as I wanted to be until now. 

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Just another millennial trying to entertain you with my thoughts on things you probably don't care about & other milestones along the way.
26. Texas.