Sophomore college Rubi used to ride the bus to campus from her overpriced student living apartment (mind you, first apartment ever - a story for another time) each morning about 2 hours early to her first class. Why? One, my massive anxiety around this time wanted nothing to do with the social awkwardness of walking into a huge class late and finding a seat. Two: to this day, I really, really, really loved walking around UNT's campus, especially in the morning when everything was still so dewy and green and I was able to walk around with headphones in without having to rush to where I was going. Anyway, a random song from an artist called Ed Sheeran came on my Pandora (yes, I think that is where I listened to my music at a lot at this time. I can't tell you the last time I used Pandora now, no shade but hello, Spotify). I'm a sucker for a good lyricist like that boy was. I researched the album and was very confused when it was just a math sign but what's most important is that anytime I hear the + album, my mind instantly goes to mornings waiting for the bus outside of my apartment and listening to that orange album, I was the biggest utter mess at this moment in time and I was completely clueless to that fact. Don't worry, it blows up in my face later (but again, story for another time.) That kind of blissful ignorance is what makes me smile but also shake my head about +.
The summer before my senior year, Ed released x. I was going into my Senior year of college and what a scary time that is!! I was about to figure out what the hell I was going to do with my life, I was gearing up to be President of Talons, an organization I had been in for my whole college career, and secretly, I was finally feeling like Rubi again from a bad break up. The boy did not break my heart, but he did mess with my head in other ways that I didn't realize were going to take awhile to fix. X is full of masterpieces. Songs that made me cry and songs that made me happy. I could write a full synopsis on each song and what it did for my life at that time. I don't think we give enough credit to the timeline we give ourselves to figure out how to be adults and how terrifying it is. I think that we should have a whole other separate four years of college where they teach us how to buy houses and cars properly and how many years it actually is going to take us to pay back our student loans. I didn't make the mistake of missing seeing Ed live however and bought tickets to his tour two weeks before it came to Dallas. It was magical. I was soaked in sweat, three different girls passed out in the pit by me, and I swear to this day that Ed looked me in the eye when a girl passed out next to me during Bloodstream and he stopped his set to tell everyone to not die. X makes me think of growing up and how real it is.
|Ed singing to me and only me in a stadium of thousands.|