Music as a timeline

March 04, 2017

A lot of the time, music is so special to me for the part it plays in my timeline of my life. You know how it is, you hear a song and instantly you're taken back to THAT moment. Sometimes, it doesn't even make sense. 24 year old Rubi wants to pinch all the younger yeared Rubis (Rubies?) for giving sentimental value to Top 40 songs that really don't call for any emotional connection. I say this, as 24 year old Rubi has a Spotify playlist she lives and breathes by called "aches and pains" that features not one, but two Hillary Duff songs. We're allowed an amount of contradictions, this is mine. Ed Sheeran's albums are a prime example of the metaphorical snapshots I get when I hear his music. Today, he released his 3rd studio album and I'm happy at where this beautiful piece of work will sit on the Rubi timeline of life. 

Sophomore college Rubi used to ride the bus to campus from her overpriced student living apartment (mind you, first apartment ever - a story for another time) each morning about 2 hours early to her first class. Why? One, my massive anxiety around this time wanted nothing to do with the social awkwardness of walking into a huge class late and finding a seat. Two: to this day, I really, really, really loved walking around UNT's campus, especially in the morning when everything was still so dewy and green and I was able to walk around with headphones in without having to rush to where I was going. Anyway, a random song from an artist called Ed Sheeran came on my Pandora (yes, I think that is where I listened to my music at a lot at this time. I can't tell you the last time I used Pandora now, no shade but hello, Spotify). I'm a sucker for a good lyricist like that boy was. I researched the album and was very confused when it was just a math sign but what's most important is that anytime I hear the + album, my mind instantly goes to mornings waiting for the bus outside of my apartment and listening to that orange album, I was the biggest utter mess at this moment in time and I was completely clueless to that fact. Don't worry, it blows up in my face later (but again, story for another time.) That kind of blissful ignorance is what makes me smile but also shake my head about +. 

The summer before my senior year, Ed released x. I was going into my Senior year of college and what a scary time that is!! I was about to figure out what the hell I was going to do with my life, I was gearing up to be President of Talons, an organization I had been in for my whole college career, and secretly, I was finally feeling like Rubi again from a bad break up. The boy did not break my heart, but he did mess with my head in other ways that I didn't realize were going to take awhile to fix. X is full of masterpieces. Songs that made me cry and songs that made me happy. I could write a full synopsis on each song and what it did for my life at that time. I don't think we give enough credit to the timeline we give ourselves to figure out how to be adults and how terrifying it is. I think that we should have a whole other separate four years of college where they teach us how to buy houses and cars properly and how many years it actually is going to take us to pay back our student loans. I didn't make the mistake of missing seeing Ed live however and bought tickets to his tour two weeks before it came to Dallas. It was magical. I was soaked in sweat, three different girls passed out in the pit by me, and I swear to this day that Ed looked me in the eye when a girl passed out next to me during Bloodstream and he stopped his set to tell everyone to not die. X makes me think of growing up and how real it is. 

Ed singing to me and only me in a stadium of thousands. 
Today, he released Divide. He actually put the name on it and not just the sign so I felt like it was fitting to say it's actual name. I listened to the album on repeat as I did nonsense tasks around my one bedroom apartment that I've earned all on my own accord. I laid in bed longer than I should have because it's my day off and damn it I deserved it. I listened to the track "new man" and laughed because I don't drunk text people I shouldn't anymore and wow can we talk about how much progress that is.  I listened to the track "Perfect" and thought about how beautiful it would be as a wedding song and patted myself on the back for allowing myself that fantasy. I listened while my friend Maggie texted me about how she doesn't understand why I'm in love with this ginger who "is a 6 at best with the singing" and gave her a lesson on why she needs to be nicer (for the record, Maggie is one of the most perfect people I know but she's also a little biatch so I lecture her.) And all of this made me think of how I remember all of his albums and how I'll remember this one and how comfortable I am with my adulthood right now. And my happiness. And the timeline it took to get here. 

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Just another millennial trying to entertain you with my thoughts on things you probably don't care about & other milestones along the way.
26. Texas.