Thursday, March 30, 2017

When in doubt, go to music.

I've felt particularly uninspired the past few days. Maybe it's because I'm still trying to figure out what is good content and what is too personal to post onto this blog. I keep writing posts and then second guessing posting them but I think that's a big part of learning how to do this. Each day I get a little more confident. Today, I'm going to pick 5 tracks on my aches and pains playlist on Spotify and tell you why they made it on to the list. 

We Belong Together - Mariah Carey 
Okay, this story is kind of funny for the nonsense behind it. I think I thought I was in love with my best friend in like sixth grade and him and I used to talk on the phone every night. I remember laying in my living room at night in the dark on the phone with him, hoping my grandma wouldn't hear me and get on the line and yell at me. Do you remember how crazy that was? Worrying about someone being able to get on the same line as you and hear your convo? Ah, to be young again. He played that song for me, it was like our 'thing' for a long time and it was stupidly cute and annoying at the same time. My friend Paehton to this day doesn't let me live this down. 

Run - George Strait
When I hear this song, I think about being in a relationship with a boy who was an hour and a half away from me which isn't far but was still very hard with my schedule at that time. Not because I felt like this song depicted my feelings about him at that moment but because I knew they didn't depict my feelings for him. In my heart, I knew I was never going to love this boy and that was my favorite part about him. I was having a fun time and worried less about getting my heart broken, because he was never going to have it. He was still an asshole but he doesn't get to say he broke my heart. 

I Remember - Keyshia Cole
This song is way heavier than necessary for the point in my life that it pertains too but teen angst is the best like that, am I right? Anyway, I honestly do remember the moment my heart broke for the first time. The memory, or least my version of the memory still can play thru my mind at any moment. I was probably 16 years old, sitting on my friend Ruby's bed. We were just hanging out, watching tv in her bed and I saw something on my phone that confirmed any last hope I had in the person who was holding my heart at the time should be let go. I remember crying in Ruby's arms and understanding for the first time why they call it heartbreak because it literally felt like I was broken inside my chest. TEEN ANGST Y'ALL. I remember crying to this song a lot. 

Power - Bastille
This song is on the playlist because it hit my feels at the right point in time. It's about letting someone having power over you and not knowing why you did that. It's about finally realizing that and saying nah, no more. If you're going to hit me, hit me harder. I needed that wake up call earlier this year. 

The Problem With The Big Picture is that It's Hard to See - Mayday Parade
I don't think I'll ever grow out of them being my favorite band. They were there thru my dramatic teenage years to my dramatic 20's, I'm pretty sure this is meant to be a love song but to me, it's about friendship. I love hearing people's interpretation of songs because most of the time, they mean different things for each person. Sometimes we get lost in growing up and we don't mean to not keep in touch the way we want too. On my journey, I unintentionally cut a lot of ties I didn't want too. This song makes me sad because it's about wanting to go back, and reliving a moment but realizing that it really is gone and things are very different. 


Whew! What a sad post. Here's to better days ahead~

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